Duty or Delight Bible Study Week 5

We’ve just finished week five of Duty or Delight by Tammie Head, and next week is our final lesson in this workbook. I pray you are growing in faith as you complete your study. Stay the course and never let the enemy pull you off the path of God’s will.

This week we paid attention to God’s command to love. Tammie shared her personal story of unloving people and people who hurt, then encouraged us to break through the walls of self-protection and follow the path of Jesus. In Him, we learn to forgive those who hurt us and to embrace the greatest commandment of all: Love one another. In Him, we learn to release sin-shame and hurtful pasts, so we can embrace the King of Kings with godliness and a pure heart. You’ll miss the Kingdom blessings and purest of love when your eyes are focused on the past. Let go and let God become the center of your life. With God as the center of your heart, love flows through your brain and in your words and actions. As a Daughter of the King, it is your inheritance to live loved and to share His love with others.

It is critical for you to walk in forgiveness and freedom as a child of God. Tammie writes “Forgiveness means we are free from the cage of our wounds and pain.” If you continue to walk by pain, you miss the blessings and spiritual gifts the Lord wants to bestow upon you. You may have forgiven someone for hurt and abuse, however you must also forgive yourself. Dig deep and look for any resentment or unforgiveness you harbor against self. Stop walking in cages of your past and start walking as a child freed with the blood of Jesus. Walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor 5:7 NKJV

Our next online bible study called When Godly People Do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore addresses how Satan uses the past to hinder your present. If you struggle with unforgiveness, please join us in this life-changing study.

Prayer Requests

Please visit our Prayer Wall and post a praise report or prayer request. Take time this week to pray for yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to convict you if you are loving others as Jesus would do.

Tammie Head Quotes

  • God set my entire life (heart, soul, mind, strength) ablaze with His love.
  • The greatest disaster to our faith is making Christianity about rules instead of relationship.
  • God created us for utmost dependence.
  • We are ministers of each others aloneness.
  • Only God should occupy the throne of our hearts.

For Next Week

Group Discussion- Answer one question or as many as you like

  1. In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 )
  2. How can you love a difficult person the way God requires? (page 120 )
  3. What is the difference between biblical love and earthly love? (page 128 )
  4. Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.

Author Christine Abraham

Founder and Ministry Director of the Womens Bible Cafe™ since 2009, Christine has led 60+ online Bible Studies for women. She completed a Graduate of Biblical Studies from Liberty University. She's an inspired writer, Amazon Top Reviewer and Blogger at LifeVerse Books.com Follow on Facebook

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Join the discussion 33 Comments

  • Carin says:

    1.In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why?

    Prunes me~ I realize how much God has pruned me when I do something that was my old ways. I hate it when it happens. I realize how far my relationship with God has come when it was something I hadn’t done in years. The enemy just snuck up on me.

    2.How can you love a difficult person the way God requires?

    Tough question when I named the specific people. One is a controlling family member that robbed us of our family relationships with the young kids (who are now adults). The other I needed to separate myself due to unhealthy inappropriate behavior. I have not encountered being set face to face with either of them. I pray for them in case I do. I am not sure how I would react and pray that I will act according to God requirements.

    3.What is the difference between biblical love and earthly love?

    Biblical love is revealed in Jesus that is seen as spiritual and selfless. Earthly love is something that can found in marriage, family & friends. Earthly love has cycles of ups and downs where as biblical is centered around “what would Jesus do”?

    4.Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.

    The term “love poser”. I never really thought about it as a term. I really have an issue with people that fake niceness when you know they are turning around & stabbing you in the back. I deal with this at my job. I wrote the term down because I want to make sure that I never fall into this. I want to be sincere!!

  • Allison says:

    1. In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 )

    I am chosen…Week one of this Bible study…because of my insecurities, fear and shame I have at times felt un-chosen. I learned that God put the urge to seek Him in each one of us and that even before I was born, God chose me. I pray I can remember this in times of self doubt.

    2. How can you love a difficult person the way God requires? (page 120

    A few Tammie quotes: “Treat people as having worth”, ” Love is a choice to honor God – by honoring people”. “We quench the Spirit quickly when we mistreat and dishonor people.”
    Some tips for dealing with difficult people by DR. RICHARD C. LEONARD:
    * Difficult people will always be with us, so don’t try to run away from hard situations; stick it out.
    * Understand that the difficult person is probably hurting, too.
    * Pick your difficulties wisely; where people differ from you in nonessentials, cut them some slack.
    * When people make things hard for you, remember that the important thing is the relationship, not the issue.
    * Keep your sense of humor, and don’t take yourself so seriously.
    * Give the difficult situation to the Lord. Remember that you’re a sinner, too. God cares about you, but he also cares for that person who’s bugging you. Try to see things from God’s perspective.

    3. What is the difference between biblical love and earthly love? (page 128 )

    I found this on Wikipedia: Real love is an action, choice or decision that when carried out, proves itself without the need for words. Biblical Love is a decision to obey or a commitment. I guess this made sense to me. Actions speak louder than words.

    4. Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.

    The section on forgiveness. I am praying for my husband’s ability to forgive his family. He hasn’t spoken to his sister in many years.

  • Laura says:

    1.In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 ) What speaks to my heart the most is that in love Iam promised. I am standing on God’s promises and have been for years for my husband’s surrender to Jesus. I love that His promises are sure. “He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. Romans 4:20-21. I love that even though I may not see evidence YET, I can still cling to His Rhema word knowing God is faithful to all His promises.
    2.How can you love a difficult person the way God requires? (page 120 ) It isn’t always easy but responding in kindness and love to those “sandpaper” people in my life can be done when I depend on the Lord and His strength. I pray that God will give me His love for the difficult person, and that He will help me see them through His eyes. Often it is recognizing that there is most likely hurt behind anger or hards words.
    3.What is the difference between biblical love and earthly love? (page 128 ) Biblical love is love rooted unconditional love, and a very sacrificial love. He gave His only Son to atone for my sin, and He loves each one of us as if we were the only one. Biblical love means we lay down our life for another as Jesus did for us. Earthly love is our attempts to love others though we are broken and flawed people. Earthy love is likely to have an element of self focus or selfishness because we love others through fallen flesh.
    4.Share a favorite moment from this week’s study. I loved page 113 and took this as a challenge in my life to really surrender everything in my day to God. The quote is, “We’ve been commanded to love God wit the entirety of our person (heart, soul, mind and strenth). Maybe that means God invites us to include Him in everything. What if the command is much broader than simply having bbilically correct thoughts? What is He’s inviting us to a place where our whole lives are live in communion with Him, even in the measliest things, like standingin our closts trying to prepare for the day?” On the next page Tammie says, “God desires that we commit to Himwhatever we do, and I believe that’s going to take God fillng us with the knowledge of His will in whatever we do”

    • Christine says:

      “Sandpaper People” would be a great book title and subject 🙂

      • Sheree says:

        I agree, Christine. I was just looking at this book at CBD.com…some great topics on how to deal with difficult people. I’m sure we all have some of those in our lives, i.e. at work and in our families.

  • Monica, NY says:

    Sheree thanks for putting a song in my <3 today! God is good! "Do Everything" by Steven Curtis Chapmanhttp://youtu.be/FEqdDdvFXZ0

  • Sheree says:

    1.In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 )
    None of us likes the “pruning” part, but it’s because of God’s love for us that he prunes us. That speaks volumes to me, because I tend to at times become distracted with “other” stuff in my life. It’s at these times that John 15:2 always comes to mind. It makes perfect sense because if we are not “pruned” from time to time, we will not bear fruit for God’s Kingdom. I have been pruned down to a stump many times, but then that’s when I begin to thrive and grow because all the dead “stuff” is gone. God is our Gardener, and we are His fruit trees….Love John 15.
    My favorite moment from this week’s study is page 114 about how we should include the Lord in ALL our planning…Proverbs 16:3….right down to choosing what to wear. I love that…keep God in everything…our decisions, our relationships (of course), and even the tiniest little details of every ordinary daily living. Too often, I try coming up with my own plans, which usually ends up in failure. Tammie asks the question, “Can you imagine the frustration we would save ourselves if we checked with God first?” Have a great week everyone 🙂

    4.Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.

    • Monica, NY says:

      I loved that too Sheree, that in even the tiniest little details of our every ordinary daily living! That just reminded me of Stephen Curtis Chapman’s song…♪ Every thing you do to the Glory of the One who made you, cause He made you, to do e’ry lil’ thing that you do to bring a smile to His face, tell the story of Grace with e’ry move that you make, e’ry lil’ thing you do ♪

  • Sue Alice says:

    1. What speaks to me most is God chose me……..WHY, and than He prunes me……which I need alot of.

    2. Before we moved my neighbors were real nice to us when we first moved in, than they turned cool..I never did find out what caused a riff between us. I shovel there sidewalk in the winter and prayed for them and even now that we have moved.

    3. Biblical love is covered by the blood of Jesus………..earthly love is just human love.

  • Bree says:

    In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 )
    The one that speaks to my heart most is that God chose me. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Both of my parents were alcoholics as were both of my sisters and brother. I’m the only one in my family that doesn’t drink. When I was three years old, I was “removed” from my family by the authorities because not only did my father drink, but he was also violently abusive to my mother. I was placed in a foster home. I was told at the time that I’d only be there for a few days. But a few days turned into ten years. It was eight months before my mom could arrange visitation with me because the courts had the case so tied up in red tape. During those first eight months of being away from my parents, I couldn’t call them and they couldn’t call me. I thought I had been abandoned. In reality I wasn’t but it still felt that way. Those eight months left an indelible impact on my three year old heart. Even though my mom was able to come and see me after the eight month waiting period, my soul and heart were beyond repair. All during school while living with the foster family, I suffered in all the social events that kids attend. I was very, very shy and much of the time a loner. I didn’t know how to make friends and so I didn’t have any. But once I became a Christian and started reading the Bible and going to church I began to understand that God chose me to be his daughter. He chose me to be His friend. He chose me to be His bride. He chose to die for me because He loves me without end and this is why I’m so vocal about my faith today. I cannot be quiet about the fact that God Himself chose me to be His beloved and He wants me to share this good news with the world.

    • Sheree says:

      WOW…thanks for sharing your story Bree. Those had to have been such tough times for you and to be so young and not understanding what was happening. Even when we feel abandoned by our loved ones, the ones we love and trust, we can know for sure God will never abandon us. Like you said, He chose us and wants us to share the “Good News” with the world. Many blessings to you.

      • Bree says:

        Thank you Sheree for your kind words to me. I was telling a friend of mine today that Jesus is my everything. Without Him I’m nothing and so I try to tell everyone about the love of God and all the He is! And many blessings to you as well!

  • Cara Louise Reitbauer says:

    It seems than for many of us, the fact that we have been CHOSEN has really spoken to our hearts through this study. This is true of me, also, as I have gone most of my life feeling that my earthly relationships were the result of mistakes or happenstance, or that I was somebody’s second choice when their first one didn’t work out. But the God of all creation fashioned ME for His good pleasure and DESIRES my presence before Him…He has chosen me and purchased my freedom so that I can come to Him…awesome!

    The bottom of page 112 reinforced something I had learned awhile back- “Rightly used, spiritual disciplines form a means to a glorious end. They run us right smack into the love of God. It’s great to be trained in the things of God when the disciplines are not rules but vehicles for authentic worship.” As a musician on my church’s music team I have the ability to easily memorize the words and music for most of the songs we use in our worship service. For a while they had become just something I did- I knew them so well, I could have easily played them while half asleep, and I actually think that is indeed how I was playing them! But a couple years ago, God brought me into a dark and desperate valley- and I knew I had to do something about that feeling of being half-asleep. I started to pay closer attention to the words and I actually found myself worshiping for the first time in quite a while. I have had to stop playing occasionally now because I am so caught up in WHO I am worshiping rather than just focused on making the appropriate sounding NOISE at the right time! I am now finding this to be true of my time reading the Word also. I think I had gotten to a place of deciding that I had read it enough that I didn’t need to anymore…but now I am endeavoring to see the AUTHOR of the words instead of just the type on the page and it is making great differences in my thoughts and attitudes.

    • Christine says:

      Great attitude, thanks for sharing this with us Cara!

    • Rhonda says:

      My sister is an active of her church’s praise and worship team and I think I can understand some of the things she has told me about her own service by Car’s description of “making the right noise” better. I am always more focused on the message behind the song but this helps bring the singer into perspective more for me. Thanks Cara!

  • Monica, NY says:

    Can I just add that was also vs 35 out of John 13:34-35 & I heard a Pastor say once…
    “People aren’t looking @ how you love God, their looking @ how you love others!”

  • Rhonda says:

    In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. God chose ME! This has to be the most exhilarating statement I have ever made. It is also one of the most liberating. To know I am here right now and God has chosen me makes me feel like the luckiest person I know!
    Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 )
    Both the being chosen and being pruned appeal to me at this stage of my life. I know that God only disciplines me because I am chosen and He loves me and wants me to be the best I can be.
    How can you love a difficult person the way God requires? (page 120 )
    Honestly I am still working on this. I work with mentally ill persons and substance abusers. The mentally ill people are usually easy to work with believe it or not, but many of the the substance abusers are here only because they are in legal trouble. It can be very hard to love people who do nothing but give me and my staff grief on a daily basis, but I am working on it!
    What is the difference between biblical love and earthly love? (page 128 )
    Biblical love is covered with the blood of Jesus Christ and therefore unconditional. Earthly love is human and filled with all the that goes with being human such as jealousy and selfishness.
    Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.
    It is difficult for me to choose just one, as I have gotten so much more from this study thatn I dared dream I would. I gues if I have to choose just one it would be again the reminder I AM CHOSEN. For some reason, I think I really needed to hear that this past week. I have lost several family members ithis summer and I am comforted by knowing they are with the Lord and becasue I am chosen I will see them again in heaven.

  • Angie says:

    1. In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110)
    God chose me; it just boggles my mind to know that God chose me – knowing EVERYTHING about me – He still chose me.

    4.Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.
    A favorite for me this week was learning about the “heavenly skills” (page 125) and seeing what our relationships look like with and without those skills being applied to them. So very true!

  • Monica, NY says:

    1.)The week 5 video was very encouraging this week! I loved that He’s Chose us, came after us, planned to redeem us even before he formed this world, made a promise to come live His life in us & through us & has supplied everything we need! We can do this relationship thing cause He commands it & if He commands it, He will give us everything we need to do it! Taking our relationship/(s) from duty to delight! I want to walk healthy in ALL my relationships! Lord please help me! Ephesians 1:4-5 (message trans.)

    2.)Treat people with dignity. Knowing that love is not just pretty feelings, but love is most definitely a choice to honor God-by honoring people. I loved also what she said that we quench the Spirit when we mistreat & dishonor people & when we do this we set ourselves up for a holy humbling!…Ouch! All I’ll say is I’ve had a couple of humblings this week!

    3.)My answer to #3 is about the same as everyone else’s! What spoke to me most this week was the question on pg. 118 in Mark 12:28-31 when Jesus answered plural to the man’s singular question! Ultimately because we can’t have one without the other! If our Love isn’t right with God, NONE of our other relationships will be either. I love also what Tammie said that “the moment you were born again, you were born into the greatest love relationship ever known-the love between the Father & the Son.” & Also “Why do we forgive?, because we rely on the overflowing power of Jesus Christ.”

    4.) May favorite thing this week was Proverbs 16:13 & the root word of commit…”Roll”! This may sound cheezy, but I have been procrastinating cleaning my closet out for about 3 years(& I’m not even kiddin’). But when I saw the pic of the lady with the look on her face holding the wardrobes & how it spoke about inviting God to include Him in everything, I knew I’d procrastinated long enough! Can I just say, it was a sweet time of talking with the Lord & “rolling” some things over to Him & with Him! Before I knew it, my closet was so organized & it was even a delight to clean it! …(A Holy Spirit Work, Indeed,…Need He more Praise?.. is an understatement if you’d seen my closet before), but seriously I give Him all the Glory! He is so Precious to me!

    I’ll just add one more thing that God spoke to my heart in John 13:34 “A New Command I give to you, that you love one another, just as I have loved you! BY THIS all people will know that you are my disciples if you Love one another.” I think it’s interesting that one of the last things Jesus told his disciples less than 24 hrs. from the cross was this! I mean can you imagine, His disciples were probably discussing what this NEW COMMAND is?(They were probably hangin on e’ry word. Will He teach us how to pray? teach?etc.) No, it was this! In other words I think Jesus was suggesting this is the bottom line! It’s a command, not a suggestion! Whatever else you get done, Get this done!! So how we Love each other was a HUGE deal to Jesus! This convicts me, but also encourages me to ask Him to help me Love like He would want & like only He can because I can’t without Him!

  • Amanda says:

    1. God pruning me speaks to me because every now and then I get a little rough around the edges and I need God to wake me up and prune me and get me back on track to grow with him. I am a work in progress!! Also that God fills me with his spirit to give me strength to handle things and people that I wouldn’t be able to on my own.

    4. I plan on incorporating the “six steps toward an effective Jesus time” into my day. Also on page 122 where she says, “What do you do when you are under duress? Is your first instinct to pick up the phone or to cry out to the Lord?” I’m working on this. 🙂

    Have a wonderful Monday everyone!

  • Jessica says:

    1) God fills me with the Holy Spirit, He has shown me that I cannot do things by my own power but by His power. He gives me the strength to handle challenges that are different or difficult.

    2) By treating them with respect and knowing that people are not perfect, as well as remembering that I, too, am not respect.

    3) Biblical love is agape or unconditional love, while earthly love is usually temporary.

    4) Learning what the definition of forgiveness is, and learning what loving others does not mean; these sections really opened my eyes to what these things actually mean.

    • Jessica says:

      Sorry for my mistake, on number 2 I meant to say “remembering I, too, am not perfect! I think I type too fast. I learned that I, too, am human and have sinned, when I did A Heart Like His by Beth Moore last year. That was a powerful study!

  • Cindy H says:

    1)When I was a little girl (5 yrs old), I don’t remember going to church, but I do remember a lady in my neighborhood showing me a picture of Jesus knocking at the door. From that day on I know that God had his hand on me and gave me a love for him that was unquestionable. 57 years later I marvel at God’s intervention in my life.
    2)Right now, I know that God is requiring forgiveness from me for some people who have hurt my family and me a lot. God will have to do this, because it is not something that I can do on my on power.
    3)Earthly love is just a shadow of biblical love……..Paul said that we look into a mirror and see a dim reflection, but someday, we will look into the amazing love of Jesus and understand fully what he was telling us in the Bible.
    4)When Tammie spoke of the pruning that sometimes has to be done by God in order for us to be stronger, as a farmer’s life, I like what she said, “Be encouraged, Sister, Jesus never planned for crop failure in your life, and neither should you.” That’s good. 🙂

  • Carolyn says:

    In our study with Tammie we’ve learned: God chose me, God redeemed me, God fills me with the Holy Spirit, and God prunes me. Which of these speaks to your heart the most and why? (page 110 )
    “I am Chosen.” God’s love for us is so strong that he has chosen each of us to be His vessel.

    How can you love a difficult person the way God requires? (page 120 )
    I took this at a very practical level. An incident a few months ago caused a minor rift between us and our neighbors. When I read this lesson, I committed to do something to relieve the tension. The kids and I baked a few dozen cookies and delivered them to the neighbors next door. It’s my hope that He will continue to show me opportunities for similar gestures.

    What is the difference between biblical love and earthly love? (page 128 )
    It is impossible to love another human (earthly) as much as God loves us (biblical). Also, our love for him is greater than that of any relationship (spouse, children, parents).

    Share a favorite moment from this week’s study.
    When I looked up this passage: Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” I printed this out and taped it to my computer monitor. Daily, I struggle in how to prioritize my day. When I meditate on this passage, I’m sacrificing my plans to the Lord and seeking guidance to follow His.

    • Monica, NY says:

      Proverbs 16:3 really spoke to me too about “Rolling” it over to the Lord & with the Lord!

    • Cara Louise Reitbauer says:

      Carolyn- I LOVE your gesture of love to your neighbor! God will bless you for your efforts to mend a rift- even if your neighbor decides to not respond favorably.

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