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Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 7

By | Surrendering the Secret | One Comment

Welcome back to the abortion healing bible study at the Womens Bible Cafe.  We’ve just finished reading week seven in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton. If you watched the video session then you heard Pat say “God’s work is a process and this is just the beginning of your journey….sometimes you need to retake this study to complete certain stages of healing.” So if you stumbled in this study or stopped working on your abortion recovery, please consider repeating the study in a local group with the trained Surrendering the Secret leaders. God will continue to heal you and the devil will continue to keep you from a pure heart. Make the choice to heal.

Acknowledge your unborn child’s life this week. You know your children are with God and not abandoned as you may have imagined during all those years of grieving. Your child lives in your heart and now you realize he or she has a place in heaven too. Do not be discouraged if you did not hear the name of your child or children this week, it may not be the right time for you. Continue to pray and to ask the Lord to reveal his or her identity to you. Continue to work on abortion healing and sharing your testimony with others. Trust the Lord to reveal his or her identity when He is ready.

If you struggle with this exercise, consider that you may still be detached from your child and hiding your pain. Seek help from a professional counselor if you cannot get past this point. Watch the session seven video and discover how other women reconnected with their children. It’s powerful!

If you participate in the live studies of Surrendering the Secret then you would have experienced a very touching memorial service for your baby during this week’s session. At home you had a memorial for your child and completed these statements:

  • My baby’s name is (or babies names are)…
  • One thing I never got to say to my baby (or babies) was…
  • I wish we had been able to…
  • I miss you most when….
  • When we are together in heaven, we will….

You’ll hold your baby forever inside your heart.  Release the peace that you deserve as a Daughter of the King. God has led you to this place of comfort…you are loved.

National Memorial for Unborn Children

There is a National Memorial Wall for the Unborn where you can order a nameplate for your unborn child or children, for more information- click here You can read more about the mother of this child when you –click here

Words from past participants of the STS bible study:

“It was freeing to acknowledge my aborted child as a son, a person, rather than a secret.  I anticipate heaven even more knowing I will “meet” someone I will know and love instantly.  And I believe the verse “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Ro 8:1)  So All fear is gone.  I actually chose the name Christopher for my child and in my praying I believe God confirmed this name. After the memorial service for my unborn child, I felt free to both grieve and to celebrate the life that was.  The life that was going to be known here on earth to me and his father and the life that was(is) going on in Heaven with his Heavenly Father.  Not really a feeling of closure per se, but rather permission to think about this child, acknowledge this child, love this child, and rest that I am his  mother as well as my earthly children’s mother.” Tricia Heflin, former StheS participant.  Current Leader and National Trainer

“When I acknowledged that my child still exists and was not destroyed, it gave me such peace. Acknowledging her name and writing her a letter was an amazing experience as I dug deep into emotions I never allowed myself to feel. I learned her name is Grace Ann and after having the memorial service for her I felt much peace. I no longer hated myself.” Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session eight (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Eight of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Please pray for those women who do not know Jesus are are still living in the pain of past abortions. Pray they will accept His invitation for healing and peace and have the courage to face their past choice.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. How did it feel to acknowledge your son or daughter as a child rather than as a secret?
  2. When you wrote your letter to your child or children, did God reveal if your child was a boy or girl, and did He reveal your child’s name to you?
  3. How did you feel after having the memorial service for your child or children?
  4. If you want, share with us your poem or letter to your child.
  5. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435

 

 

babies

Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 6

By | Surrendering the Secret | 2 Comments

Welcome back to the abortion healing bible study at the Womens Bible Cafe.  We’ve just finished reading week six in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton. You’ve come so far on this healing journey as you’ve shared the secret, walked in truth, confronted your anger and opened the doors to forgiveness. This week you discovered a grief you never felt entitled to heal. You also wrote a letter to your unborn child or children and released buckets of tears. For some, you may have even learned the names of your unborn children or caught a glimpse of them through your prayers. What an amazing experience it would be to sit beside you all in a room and share your stories of healing from abortion.

Inside your book  is a scripture list called “Who Am I?” These 31 verses are based on truth. Most likely, since you made the choice to abort your child you have been telling yourself lies based on guilt, shame, anger and hurt. You’ve got to filter out these lies and replace them with truth of who God says you are. If you struggle with accepting yourself as a Daughter of the King, then copy this list of verses and pray one verse each day. Personalize the verse by inserting your name. Let go of the lies that keep you in bondage and embrace truth as a blessing from God. Remember these important words from the bible:

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.  1 Peter 1:18-19 Message

 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. Psalm 103:10 NLT

Words from past participants of the STS bible study:

“Before this healing journey, I wasn’t at all aware of how much shame and hiding were operating forces in my life.  That’s one of the reasons I was so jolted by my daughter’s statement after telling her of my abortion; “Mom this just explains so  much!” Overprotection of my children, fear of losing them as punishment, hiding, and working very hard to be a good person, mother and to please God were paramount in my life. I realize that abortion cost be so much.  I lost the chance to know this precious child, to know myself as one who didn’t cower in fear and cover my sin with yet another sin.  I spent so many years in regret, blame and wishing I could go back and change my actions.  After writng my letter to my unborn child I felt NO condemnation but love and peace.  I saw in my mind a young man praying for me, his mother…a pleasant look on his face.  I named him Christopher and believe God confirmed that name.  Christopher means “Christ bearer”.  My husband and I did the StheS Bible study together and at this part we both cried over what just never should’ve happened.  We would have made it.  AND we’d have and know our grown son. We have forgiven each other .  Without this Bible study’s guide and sharing this journey together we’d still be stuck in unexpressed unforgiveness.   I take comfort in the Ps 103:10 verse that declares the goodness of our LORD who does not punish us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”   And HE is the ‘parent’ who has raised our unborn children.  Thanking HIM for blessing instead of shame, power instead of fear!”   — Tricia Heflin, former StheS participant.  Current Leader and Natl Trainer

“Before starting my abortion healing I experienced sadness, frustration, shame and denial. I convinced myself to think I had a miscarriage every time I thought of what I had done.  I missed out on not only the life of my child, but giving God an opportunity to be Himself–simply amazing and a miracle worker. After writing the letter to my unborn child, I felt I gave myself permission to grieve and a peace foreign to me. Also, I felt free from Satan’s grip. I felt ready to go forward no matter what came my way. I felt a love for God and my baby I had never felt before.” Lelia Chealey STS certified leader in Nebraska…email at leliachealey@yahoo.com or visit www.leliachealey.com

“Before I did the STS bible study I was angry, bitter, resentful, shamed and insecure. This study helped me release these emotions and accept my identity in Christ. Some of the losses I experienced from my abortion included the missed opportunity to raise my child, a destroyed relationship with the child’s father whom I loved, feelings of self-hate and feelings of anger. In my shame I married someone who would make me miserable because I did not deserve a good man for what I had done. I punished myself and denied myself happiness. I still remember when I wrote that letter to my child and how I finally connected with her. In my grief God told me her name is Grace. I remember each year after my abortion I would count her birthday, the time she turned 16, the time she turned 18, and then I stopped counting the years. I realize how long I had been grieving someone I knew in my heart and not in physical appearance. Once I knew her name I felt peace and connected to her in a way I never felt before.” Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session seven (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Seven of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • The post-abortive woman must be given permission to grieve and acknowledge her loss.
  • The healing journey requires us to trust God.
  • God’s love is lavished on those who place their faith in Jesus.
  • Fear has changed to courage and strength has replaced shame.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. What are some of the emotions, characteristics or behaviors you experienced before starting your abortion healing?
  2. What are some of the losses your abortion has taken away or never allowed you to experience?
  3. After writing a letter to your unborn child or children, what was your reaction or experience?
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435

 

 

anger

Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 4

By | Surrendering the Secret | 13 Comments

Welcome back to the Womens Bible Cafe – I’m so proud of you for continuing your abortion healing bible study! You’ve just finished reading week four in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton and your journey is half-way complete. Are you surprised you found the courage and determination to make it this far? You each deserve a really big HUG for your progress!! By now you’ve shared your secret with at least one person, learned the truth about abortion and confronted your anger. Next week you’ll journey into forgiveness, followed by an opportunity to grieve for your unborn child in week six and releasing the peace you’ve been seeking in week seven and eight. Don’t quit now….you’ve got to walk the entire journey for complete healing. ”

As you worked through your lesson last week, you learned the average cost of an abortion is $500 US dollars and in the United States abortion is a $750,000,000,000 a year business. $750 billion!!! “We should be angry that women are lied to by doctors and professionals that we trust to protect human life,” says Pat Layton in the session four video.

Here in California, I am angered as the mother of two daughters I have no access to their medical records once they are 12 years of age…in case a school nurse or another adult wants to take them off campus for an abortion. Each year I have to sign a school form allowing counseling for my daughters and each year I refuse my permission. Each year since she turned 12, my oldest daughter has to sign a form allowing me to access her medical records. It angers me that abortion business has targeted my children as early as 12 years old and the message to teenage girls is “no one needs to know your secret.”

California Law: Irrespective of who consented for the care, a health care provider is not permitted to share information or records regarding abortion services with a parent or legal guardian without the minor’s written authorization. Cal. Civil Code §§ 56.10, 56.11; Cal. Health & Safety Code §§ 123110(a), 123115(a)(1) source: teenhealth.org

By the time a teenage girl becomes a 43 year old woman…she has been sold the message over the past 30 years that “no one needs to know about her unborn baby.” She is fed the lie that unborn children are valueless. Abortion clinics want these women to keep silent….or they’ll lose profits and political support. A girl died after taking the abortion pill and her father still grieves over his loss. He’s created a website called Abortion Pill Risks in her memory and he’s very angry at the loss of two innocent lives…his 18 year old daughter and her unborn baby.

Last week you had the opportunity to blame others instead of just blaming yourself for your abortion. You did not make your choice alone, yet you live with the secret and pain of your abortion. You might be feeling angry at God for not preventing your abortion. You may have felt anger towards the abortion industry. You may have blamed infertility or imperfect children as “punishment” from God. It’s okay to release these feelings and work through them, rather than staying in bondage to what you feel. Have a prayer partner or someone who can work through these emotions with you as you release them in a healthy way and heal. You’ll be writing two more letters this week.

Here’s what some of the women healed post-abortive have experienced when completing the STS study:

” I do not remember a whole lot of anger in my home.  My Mom may cry on occasion.  And I can see my Dad’s belt flying through his belt loops when he was mad enough to spank us.(kids) Mom and Dad did not seem to be angry very often with each other.  My Mom was sick a lot, and battled with depression, so more of that than anger. After writing my anger letters, I experienced saddness and regret and still some anger…..mainly at myself for just being so stupid.  And I still blamed my husband (boyfriend at the time).  I realized though that I feared the church and their reaction and gossip very much (Deacon’s Daughter/Pastor’s son thing) and so I was a bit angry with church and how little the church STILL recognizes or admits it’s responsibility in many abortion decisions.  People more afraid of facing the church with an unwed pregnancy than facing God.  Before Surrendering the Secret I held my emotions inside and even if I reached the “exploding” point, it wasn’t a very big boom.   But after literally surrendering my secret to my daughter, which truly began the “healing journey for me, and then completing these Bible studies, I truly discovered God could be trusted with everything, even the abortion story!” Tricia Heflin, National Trainer and Group Leader for Surrendering the Secret email tjhef@aol.com or visit www.triciaheflin.com

“As a child, the adults in my home expressed anger with physical violence so I learned to avoid pain by not drawing attention to myself or my emotions. After writing my letters, I realized how I’d been keeping those emotions inside me for more than 20 years. It felt really good to discover them and release them onto paper. I gave my feelings to God and spent lots of time praying over my feelings. I started connecting my hidden emotions with the way I had been raised and I was so angry when I worked through the book. I remember I was mad at God for not stopping the abortion, I was mad at my parents for making me too afraid to tell them I was pregnant and needed help, I was mad at the baby’s father for making it my issue and not his, I was mad at my girlfriend for encouraging me, I was mad at the counselor and clinic for telling me lies that led to the death of my first child. Before this, I was only mad at myself and was blaming and hating the wrong person. I was really mad at the Devil because he tricked me into killing my own child and I fell for the lies. After working through STS I realized I was ready to explode..so I got help from a counselor and she helped me release my emotions by talking to someone safe.  I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD and I thought only war soldiers had this diagnosis. I didn’t need medications and I stopped having flashbacks and anger symptoms once I was able to release my emotions and forgive myself for a bad choice. Before my healing I was waiting for God to strike me with lightening or kill one of my kids to punish me for my abortion. After STS I saw God’s mercy and grace and his love for me.”  Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session five (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Five of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Write a letter to yourself to express any leftover thoughts or feelings of anger or disappointment related to your abortion decision. Then write another letter as if it were from God to another woman who has experienced abortion and is facing healing.

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • I will not forget you.
  • God has built some warning signs in our life to keep us from taking the wrong path.
  • Anger steals the joy that God desires for us.
  • When I had cried all that I could, I handed my heart to God.
  • Your healing journey is a process.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. As a child, how did the adults in your home express anger? (page 55 )
  2. After writing letters and dealing with the death of your child this week, what emotions did you experience?
  3. Did you give these emotions to God for healing, soothe them with addictive behavior (eating, drinking, shopping, etc) or hold them inside you waiting to explode?
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435