Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 7

Welcome back to the abortion healing bible study at the Womens Bible Cafe.  We’ve just finished reading week seven in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton. If you watched the video session then you heard Pat say “God’s work is a process and this is just the beginning of your journey….sometimes you need to retake this study to complete certain stages of healing.” So if you stumbled in this study or stopped working on your abortion recovery, please consider repeating the study in a local group with the trained Surrendering the Secret leaders. God will continue to heal you and the devil will continue to keep you from a pure heart. Make the choice to heal.

Acknowledge your unborn child’s life this week. You know your children are with God and not abandoned as you may have imagined during all those years of grieving. Your child lives in your heart and now you realize he or she has a place in heaven too. Do not be discouraged if you did not hear the name of your child or children this week, it may not be the right time for you. Continue to pray and to ask the Lord to reveal his or her identity to you. Continue to work on abortion healing and sharing your testimony with others. Trust the Lord to reveal his or her identity when He is ready.

If you struggle with this exercise, consider that you may still be detached from your child and hiding your pain. Seek help from a professional counselor if you cannot get past this point. Watch the session seven video and discover how other women reconnected with their children. It’s powerful!

If you participate in the live studies of Surrendering the Secret then you would have experienced a very touching memorial service for your baby during this week’s session. At home you had a memorial for your child and completed these statements:

  • My baby’s name is (or babies names are)…
  • One thing I never got to say to my baby (or babies) was…
  • I wish we had been able to…
  • I miss you most when….
  • When we are together in heaven, we will….

You’ll hold your baby forever inside your heart.  Release the peace that you deserve as a Daughter of the King. God has led you to this place of comfort…you are loved.

National Memorial for Unborn Children

There is a National Memorial Wall for the Unborn where you can order a nameplate for your unborn child or children, for more information- click here You can read more about the mother of this child when you -click here

Words from past participants of the STS bible study:

“It was freeing to acknowledge my aborted child as a son, a person, rather than a secret.  I anticipate heaven even more knowing I will “meet” someone I will know and love instantly.  And I believe the verse “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Ro 8:1)  So All fear is gone.  I actually chose the name Christopher for my child and in my praying I believe God confirmed this name. After the memorial service for my unborn child, I felt free to both grieve and to celebrate the life that was.  The life that was going to be known here on earth to me and his father and the life that was(is) going on in Heaven with his Heavenly Father.  Not really a feeling of closure per se, but rather permission to think about this child, acknowledge this child, love this child, and rest that I am his  mother as well as my earthly children’s mother.” Tricia Heflin, former StheS participant.  Current Leader and National Trainer

“When I acknowledged that my child still exists and was not destroyed, it gave me such peace. Acknowledging her name and writing her a letter was an amazing experience as I dug deep into emotions I never allowed myself to feel. I learned her name is Grace Ann and after having the memorial service for her I felt much peace. I no longer hated myself.” Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session eight (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Eight of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Please pray for those women who do not know Jesus are are still living in the pain of past abortions. Pray they will accept His invitation for healing and peace and have the courage to face their past choice.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. How did it feel to acknowledge your son or daughter as a child rather than as a secret?
  2. When you wrote your letter to your child or children, did God reveal if your child was a boy or girl, and did He reveal your child’s name to you?
  3. How did you feel after having the memorial service for your child or children?
  4. If you want, share with us your poem or letter to your child.
  5. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435

 

 

Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 6

Welcome back to the abortion healing bible study at the Womens Bible Cafe.  We’ve just finished reading week six in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton. You’ve come so far on this healing journey as you’ve shared the secret, walked in truth, confronted your anger and opened the doors to forgiveness. This week you discovered a grief you never felt entitled to heal. You also wrote a letter to your unborn child or children and released buckets of tears. For some, you may have even learned the names of your unborn children or caught a glimpse of them through your prayers. What an amazing experience it would be to sit beside you all in a room and share your stories of healing from abortion.

Inside your book  is a scripture list called “Who Am I?” These 31 verses are based on truth. Most likely, since you made the choice to abort your child you have been telling yourself lies based on guilt, shame, anger and hurt. You’ve got to filter out these lies and replace them with truth of who God says you are. If you struggle with accepting yourself as a Daughter of the King, then copy this list of verses and pray one verse each day. Personalize the verse by inserting your name. Let go of the lies that keep you in bondage and embrace truth as a blessing from God. Remember these important words from the bible:

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.  1 Peter 1:18-19 Message

 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. Psalm 103:10 NLT

Words from past participants of the STS bible study:

“Before this healing journey, I wasn’t at all aware of how much shame and hiding were operating forces in my life.  That’s one of the reasons I was so jolted by my daughter’s statement after telling her of my abortion; “Mom this just explains so  much!” Overprotection of my children, fear of losing them as punishment, hiding, and working very hard to be a good person, mother and to please God were paramount in my life. I realize that abortion cost be so much.  I lost the chance to know this precious child, to know myself as one who didn’t cower in fear and cover my sin with yet another sin.  I spent so many years in regret, blame and wishing I could go back and change my actions.  After writng my letter to my unborn child I felt NO condemnation but love and peace.  I saw in my mind a young man praying for me, his mother…a pleasant look on his face.  I named him Christopher and believe God confirmed that name.  Christopher means “Christ bearer”.  My husband and I did the StheS Bible study together and at this part we both cried over what just never should’ve happened.  We would have made it.  AND we’d have and know our grown son. We have forgiven each other .  Without this Bible study’s guide and sharing this journey together we’d still be stuck in unexpressed unforgiveness.   I take comfort in the Ps 103:10 verse that declares the goodness of our LORD who does not punish us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”   And HE is the ‘parent’ who has raised our unborn children.  Thanking HIM for blessing instead of shame, power instead of fear!”   — Tricia Heflin, former StheS participant.  Current Leader and Natl Trainer

“Before starting my abortion healing I experienced sadness, frustration, shame and denial. I convinced myself to think I had a miscarriage every time I thought of what I had done.  I missed out on not only the life of my child, but giving God an opportunity to be Himself–simply amazing and a miracle worker. After writing the letter to my unborn child, I felt I gave myself permission to grieve and a peace foreign to me. Also, I felt free from Satan’s grip. I felt ready to go forward no matter what came my way. I felt a love for God and my baby I had never felt before.” Lelia Chealey STS certified leader in Nebraska…email at leliachealey@yahoo.com or visit www.leliachealey.com

“Before I did the STS bible study I was angry, bitter, resentful, shamed and insecure. This study helped me release these emotions and accept my identity in Christ. Some of the losses I experienced from my abortion included the missed opportunity to raise my child, a destroyed relationship with the child’s father whom I loved, feelings of self-hate and feelings of anger. In my shame I married someone who would make me miserable because I did not deserve a good man for what I had done. I punished myself and denied myself happiness. I still remember when I wrote that letter to my child and how I finally connected with her. In my grief God told me her name is Grace. I remember each year after my abortion I would count her birthday, the time she turned 16, the time she turned 18, and then I stopped counting the years. I realize how long I had been grieving someone I knew in my heart and not in physical appearance. Once I knew her name I felt peace and connected to her in a way I never felt before.” Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session seven (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Seven of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • The post-abortive woman must be given permission to grieve and acknowledge her loss.
  • The healing journey requires us to trust God.
  • God’s love is lavished on those who place their faith in Jesus.
  • Fear has changed to courage and strength has replaced shame.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. What are some of the emotions, characteristics or behaviors you experienced before starting your abortion healing?
  2. What are some of the losses your abortion has taken away or never allowed you to experience?
  3. After writing a letter to your unborn child or children, what was your reaction or experience?
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435

 

 

Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 4

Welcome back to the Womens Bible Cafe – I’m so proud of you for continuing your abortion healing bible study! You’ve just finished reading week four in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton and your journey is half-way complete. Are you surprised you found the courage and determination to make it this far? You each deserve a really big HUG for your progress!! By now you’ve shared your secret with at least one person, learned the truth about abortion and confronted your anger. Next week you’ll journey into forgiveness, followed by an opportunity to grieve for your unborn child in week six and releasing the peace you’ve been seeking in week seven and eight. Don’t quit now….you’ve got to walk the entire journey for complete healing. ”

As you worked through your lesson last week, you learned the average cost of an abortion is $500 US dollars and in the United States abortion is a $750,000,000,000 a year business. $750 billion!!! “We should be angry that women are lied to by doctors and professionals that we trust to protect human life,” says Pat Layton in the session four video.

Here in California, I am angered as the mother of two daughters I have no access to their medical records once they are 12 years of age…in case a school nurse or another adult wants to take them off campus for an abortion. Each year I have to sign a school form allowing counseling for my daughters and each year I refuse my permission. Each year since she turned 12, my oldest daughter has to sign a form allowing me to access her medical records. It angers me that abortion business has targeted my children as early as 12 years old and the message to teenage girls is “no one needs to know your secret.”

California Law: Irrespective of who consented for the care, a health care provider is not permitted to share information or records regarding abortion services with a parent or legal guardian without the minor’s written authorization. Cal. Civil Code §§ 56.10, 56.11; Cal. Health & Safety Code §§ 123110(a), 123115(a)(1) source: teenhealth.org

By the time a teenage girl becomes a 43 year old woman…she has been sold the message over the past 30 years that “no one needs to know about her unborn baby.” She is fed the lie that unborn children are valueless. Abortion clinics want these women to keep silent….or they’ll lose profits and political support. A girl died after taking the abortion pill and her father still grieves over his loss. He’s created a website called Abortion Pill Risks in her memory and he’s very angry at the loss of two innocent lives…his 18 year old daughter and her unborn baby.

Last week you had the opportunity to blame others instead of just blaming yourself for your abortion. You did not make your choice alone, yet you live with the secret and pain of your abortion. You might be feeling angry at God for not preventing your abortion. You may have felt anger towards the abortion industry. You may have blamed infertility or imperfect children as “punishment” from God. It’s okay to release these feelings and work through them, rather than staying in bondage to what you feel. Have a prayer partner or someone who can work through these emotions with you as you release them in a healthy way and heal. You’ll be writing two more letters this week.

Here’s what some of the women healed post-abortive have experienced when completing the STS study:

” I do not remember a whole lot of anger in my home.  My Mom may cry on occasion.  And I can see my Dad’s belt flying through his belt loops when he was mad enough to spank us.(kids) Mom and Dad did not seem to be angry very often with each other.  My Mom was sick a lot, and battled with depression, so more of that than anger. After writing my anger letters, I experienced saddness and regret and still some anger…..mainly at myself for just being so stupid.  And I still blamed my husband (boyfriend at the time).  I realized though that I feared the church and their reaction and gossip very much (Deacon’s Daughter/Pastor’s son thing) and so I was a bit angry with church and how little the church STILL recognizes or admits it’s responsibility in many abortion decisions.  People more afraid of facing the church with an unwed pregnancy than facing God.  Before Surrendering the Secret I held my emotions inside and even if I reached the “exploding” point, it wasn’t a very big boom.   But after literally surrendering my secret to my daughter, which truly began the “healing journey for me, and then completing these Bible studies, I truly discovered God could be trusted with everything, even the abortion story!” Tricia Heflin, National Trainer and Group Leader for Surrendering the Secret email tjhef@aol.com or visit www.triciaheflin.com

“As a child, the adults in my home expressed anger with physical violence so I learned to avoid pain by not drawing attention to myself or my emotions. After writing my letters, I realized how I’d been keeping those emotions inside me for more than 20 years. It felt really good to discover them and release them onto paper. I gave my feelings to God and spent lots of time praying over my feelings. I started connecting my hidden emotions with the way I had been raised and I was so angry when I worked through the book. I remember I was mad at God for not stopping the abortion, I was mad at my parents for making me too afraid to tell them I was pregnant and needed help, I was mad at the baby’s father for making it my issue and not his, I was mad at my girlfriend for encouraging me, I was mad at the counselor and clinic for telling me lies that led to the death of my first child. Before this, I was only mad at myself and was blaming and hating the wrong person. I was really mad at the Devil because he tricked me into killing my own child and I fell for the lies. After working through STS I realized I was ready to explode..so I got help from a counselor and she helped me release my emotions by talking to someone safe.  I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD and I thought only war soldiers had this diagnosis. I didn’t need medications and I stopped having flashbacks and anger symptoms once I was able to release my emotions and forgive myself for a bad choice. Before my healing I was waiting for God to strike me with lightening or kill one of my kids to punish me for my abortion. After STS I saw God’s mercy and grace and his love for me.”  Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session five (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Five of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Write a letter to yourself to express any leftover thoughts or feelings of anger or disappointment related to your abortion decision. Then write another letter as if it were from God to another woman who has experienced abortion and is facing healing.

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • I will not forget you.
  • God has built some warning signs in our life to keep us from taking the wrong path.
  • Anger steals the joy that God desires for us.
  • When I had cried all that I could, I handed my heart to God.
  • Your healing journey is a process.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. As a child, how did the adults in your home express anger? (page 55 )
  2. After writing letters and dealing with the death of your child this week, what emotions did you experience?
  3. Did you give these emotions to God for healing, soothe them with addictive behavior (eating, drinking, shopping, etc) or hold them inside you waiting to explode?
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435

Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 3

Welcome back to the Womens Bible Cafe as we continue our bible study for abortion healing. Last week was really tough as you shared your abortion stories and broke through a thick wall of fear. I’m so proud of each of you…just know if we were sitting in  a room together I’d cry tears of happiness for each of you. For those who are still struggling to release their secret…let us know so we can pray for you. Post an anonymous message below using the email biblecafe16@gmail.com and allow us to cover you in prayer.

You’ll continue feeling a wave of emotions as you heal. This week in Session Three you learned to walk in truth. As you worked through your Surrendering the Secret learner book you faced the lies of Satan and learned the truth about abortion. In order to heal, you need to make the connection between Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS) and the truth. You’ve had an opportunity to learn this week how your abortion secret continues to affect you today. There are 14 recognized symptoms of PAS

  1. Guilt
  2. Anxiety
  3. Psychological numbing
  4. Depression and thoughts of suicide
  5. Anniversary syndrome
  6. Re-experiencing the abortion
  7. Preoccupation with becoming pregnant again
  8. Anxiety over fertility and childbearing
  9. Interruption of bonding process with present/future children
  10. Survival guilt
  11. Development of eating disorders
  12. Alcohol and drug abuse
  13. Self-punishing or self-degrading behaviors
  14. Brief reactive psychosis

Source: Ramah International

As you worked through your lesson this week, you realized that your have the right to grieve your unborn child. You’ve been grieving silently for all the years since your abortion and it’s time to heal this pain. Pat Layton writes “At death, the unborn child immediately passes into God’s presence. Each of those little ones is with the Father. They have identity and individuality; they deserve to be known for what they are: eternal beings. They have  a divine purpose which we shall perceive clearly when the day dawns that we no longer see through a glass darkly, but then will see face to face.” Let her words sink deep into your heart: “Not only is your child fully human from the moment of conception but her or she has already been given a personal, eternal soul.”

Later in your abortion healing journey you will have the opportunity to remember your baby. This week your assignment is to write letters to each of the people involved in your abortion. Write letters to the child’s father, your parents, the abortion clinic and doctor and anyone who participated in the choice termination of your pregnancy. DO NOT MAIL or GIVE THE LETTERS to people. This is a healing exercise and your thoughts must be safe from harming others. Write what you feel and express your feelings of anger or hurt. This homework is required for next week so get a box of tissues, a glass of water and a place where you can write your letters. Keep them hidden.

Here’s what some of the women healed post-abortive have experienced when completing the STS study:

With me I always knew the truth behind my choice. Growing up in a Christian home attending a private Christian home I cannot claim lack of knowledge that led me to the clinic that day. I knew better and I still chose to exchange my pro-life beliefs for pro-choice out of convenience and fear. The moment of truth about my abortion that hit me was because I had what is called a “medical abortion” where you swallow pills, I tried to convince myself I miscarried. So when I reached the point of no longer being able to lie to myself, that was a low point for me. I hated my choice and myself. I know there was no reversing my decision and that was a sickening feeling. I quickly moved from denial into owning my devastating choice and the burden of truth would weigh heavy on my heart. Lelia Chealey STS certified leader in Nebraska…email at leliachealey@yahoo.com or visit www.leliachealey.com

After studying the Truth about abortion in this  study, I felt heartsick and then angry! Because I have two children and am an Ultrasound technologist I pretty much knew about fetal development and had accepted the truth that even at 6 1/2 weeks ( the stage at time of abortion for me), my baby was alive, with all of its DNA, a beating heart and even developing fingers and toes.   I was heartsick that I’d fallen into Satan’s trap of sexual sin, and then that same Tempter became my Accuser saying:  “You can’t let anyone know you’re pregnant.”  “You’ll disgrace your family, your boyfriend’s (my Pastor’s son) family, and your own reputation as a Christian will be ruined if you let it be known you’re pregnant.”  I had always blamed myself and my boyfriend but never really saw that others had a part in this decision.  Doctors were  making money by abortion. I was told it was  just a simple procedure. The word baby was never mentioned.  I didn’t know I would never forget and never be the same. I recognized guilt, shame, fear, and deep regret as huge factors in my life that had greatly afftected my marriage and my parenting!  One of my favorite sites listed in this week’s material is justthefacts.org–video clips–arms and legs… Shows beautiful unfolding of the baby’s hand!  John 8:32 (You will know the truth and the truth will set you free) helped me get through TRUTH week!  Tricia Heflin, National Trainer and Group Leader for Surrendering the Secret email tjhef@aol.com or visit www.triciaheflin.com

When I did the STS study and chapter three, I found it hard to stay on course. I wanted to shut the book and look away and not face the truth, kindda like a spoiled kid. I knew it was important to healing and prayed each time I felt the urge to quit.  When I looked back on the lies I became very angry. At the time of the abortion I believed that it was not a baby, there would not be side effects, it wasn’t murder and the baby would be deformed if I did not abort. Lies, lies, lies. As I grew in faith I started to see the truth and knew God was my ultimate source for healing. During my STS experience I was so amazed to realize that my unborn baby was not a mass of tissues and that God loved him/her. I started to connect emotionally to my child for the first time in 20 years.  Denise, past participant

Homework

Write letters to the people involved in your abortion. DO NOT MAIL or GIVE the LETTERS to people. Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session four (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Four of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Additional Resources

Learn Abby Johnson’s story from her book and documentary Unplanned -click here


Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • The nation in general is ignorant about abortion.
  • You have the right to grieve the loss of your unborn child.
  • All prenatal existence is related to postnatal life.
  • At death, the unborn child immediately passes into God’s presence. Each of those little ones is with the Father. They have a divine purpose and deserve to be know as eternal beings.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. Share how you felt after learning the truth about abortion.
  2. What lies did you hear at the time of your abortion?
  3. Share any thoughts you have about this week’s lesson.
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435

Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 1

Last week we began an online bible study for abortion healing.While more than 50 women are actively participating in this post-abortion healing, more  than 3,000+ people visited our website the day we started the study! You’re not alone in this journey as many women and men sitting beside you in church each week are also affected by past abortions. This is the final week to register and become an active participant for this online bible study- so to register for this study click here. We’ll be too far into the journey next week for late registrations and it will be months before we repeat the study here at the Bible Cafe. Prayerfully consider if you should participate in the healing journey. If you need to talk to someone who understands where you’ve been, contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435 and she’ll connect you with a STS Certified Leader in your area.

Your post-abortion healing through Surrendering the Secret involves these 8 steps:

  1. Share the story
  2. Look at the truth about abortion
  3. Deal with anger
  4. Pursue forgiveness
  5. Work through grief and guilt
  6. Exchange bondage for freedom
  7. Conduct a service
  8. Share through healing

source: Surrendering the Secret

Each week you’ll be learning and journaling one of these steps and so you must have a copy of the Surrendering the Secret Learner’s Guide  in order to participate in this online bible study.

This past week you completed Session One- Share the Story- and unpeeled the past. You’ve probably experienced different emotions during this past week- relief, anger, fear, numbness, shame or detachment. Over time your healing journey will  lead to a peace like you’ve never know before. You need to complete all eight steps and not fall behind or jump ahead of the group during this study. The Lord will not give you more than you can handle…so He gives it to you a step at a time. Don’t get too far ahead…and don’t lag behind in this study because nobody is watching you.

“Close to 30 million women in the United States have had an abortion, resulting in the loss of over 40 million babies since abortion was legalized… Abortion is a secret that many women have held for so long that just speaking of it is often the most pivotal step in their healing,” writes Pat Layton. You took your first pivotal step this week when you journaled your story. The work you did at home was intense and we’re here to pray and support you. This is your personal journey and not everything needs to be shared.

Here’s what some of the women healed post-abortive have experienced when completing session one of the STS study:

 “I am a National Trainer with Surrendering the Secret, am post abortive and healed.  Any time God uses my story to help others I am thrilled!  During my healing journey, writing it down for the first time was very insightful.  I was surprised at the memories I had and I realized that the fear that was the basis for my choice of abortion (fear of the out of wedlock pregnancy being exposed) was the same fear that kept me hiding the abortion choice for 25 years. FEAR & PANIC:  paralyzes, liars; never  good counselors. My score in the Survey was 10.” Tricia Heflin, National Trainer and Group Leader for Surrendering the Secret email tjhef@aol.com or visit www.triciaheflin.com

“I remember completing Session One in 2010. When you write things out and then read your own story it’s almost as if you can smell the aroma of freedom in the air. It was a good thing for me to reflect on my choice and see the pain come from my heart onto the paper. And as the reader of my own journal, I wanted to erase some sentences and re-write my own ending and make my self into the hero Mom who walked out of the clinic still pregnant. That was the beginning of my healing journey was having the courage to put my mess of a life into writing.  I recorded 13 yes and 17 no when I took the survey in 2010. Today my answers would be different, but that’s how I felt when I started me healing journey. I was surprised by my response. I never thought of abortion as traumatic. Shameful, horrific, regretful yes, but never traumatic.” Lelia Chealey STS certified leader in Nebraska…email at leliachealey@yahoo.com or visit www.leliachealey.com

“I still remember the day I wrote my abortion experience in my STS  journal. I cried buckets of tears, yet releasing them felt so good after keeping them stored up for more than 20 years.  The questions were great because they triggered my memory and helped me release my shame. I scored 19 on the ‘yes’ side of the survey so I made sure I had professional help during my STS study. I was then diagnosed with PTSD…and twice I had postpartum depression after my kids were born. I never associated these conditions with the abortion. The birth of my children made me more susceptible to shame…I felt I didn’t deserve to have kids and would be a rotten mother. Parenting post-abortive without any healing was extremely difficult until I completed this study. Today I see myself as a good and loving mother.”  Denise, past participant

Homework

Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session two (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Two of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide.

Prayers

During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • Abortion crosses all racial, social and economic lines.
  • Approximately 43% of women have an abortion by age 43
  • 79% of women having abortions claim to be Christians
  • Post abortive women need to tell their stories to people they trust.
  • God is always working as you invite Him in.
  • God wants to use our past in His calling for our future.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email biblecafe16@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. How did you feel after journaling your abortion experience in the STS workbook?
  2. If you feel comfortable, share your overall survey score from page 17.  How did you feel after taking the Past Trauma survey?
  3. Jesus values and treasures you as His sheep. How do you feel knowing He has been searching for you and do you have a willingness to be “found” by Him?
  4. Share any thoughts you have about this week’s lesson.
  5. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at cbond@greenwoodbc.com or 817-629-9435