5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter | Week 3

Revising the Talk

We’re on the third week of study as we read 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, the Bible Study by Vicki Courtney. As I look at this photo I think of the difficulty we face as parents, when we have “the talk” with our daughters. She’s already tuned out to the fact that we are parents…so she fills her mind with the words of her friends, her music and her self-centered world. How, as a Mom, do you face this teen girl and share God’s plan for sex! We cover this with Vicki in the 5 Conversations Bible study this week, as we review the truth about teen sex, and the truth about God’s plan. Several good points are mentioned in this week of study, I hope you’ve had a chance to review it.

Things You’ll Need to Do: Week Three

  • Pray for the women and their daughters in this study
  • Read Week Three (pages 76-106) in workbook
  • Download and watch Video Conversation Three (optional due to cost)
  • Complete viewer guide on page 76

We get right to the point in week three, day one, as we evaluate the “birds and the bees” conversation. Vicki shows us how the conversation has changed since we were children, as we look back at our own mother-daughter talk. It is time for a NEW and REVISED sex talk with our kids…and the entire week Vicki empowers us with factual knowledge and supporting scripture verses.  Some of the statistics shared in this weeks lesson included:

  • More than 25% of teen girls have an STD
  • Nearly 40% of teen girls will become pregnant at least once before the age of 20
  • By age 45, every 2.5 women in the US has had an abortion
  • 25% of the sexually active teen girls reported feeling depressed most of the time
  • Sexually active teenage girls are more than 3 times as likely to have a suicide attempt
  • 92% of females will have sex by age 22-24

(source: 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, Vicki Courtney)

As a mom of two daughters, these statistics are so frightening…of course I’ll get out of my comfort zone and talk to my children about this. Not once a year or when I sense they need some information…I’ll talk about this all the time, as often as I can and until they move out of my home. Thankfully, Vicki guides us with 5-Step Plan (page 85) which is based entirely on Ephesians 5:1-17. It was so helpful to complete this activity and use it as a guideline for conversations with my daughters. Here is my 5-Step Plan:

  1. Be imitators of Christ. (Ephesians 5:1)
  2. Don’t even hint of sexual immorality or impurity. (Ephesians 5:3)
  3. Do not be deceived by others to have sex before marriage, Gods’ wrath will come upon you. (Ephesians 5:6-8)
  4. Expose those who will violate God’s law. (Ephesians 5:11)
  5. Don’t be foolish. Know God’s will. (Ephesians 5:15-17)

If you don’t complete the workbook and the 5 Steps, then you will not have a plan. And those who do not plan, often fail.

Quotes from Vicky Courtney

“If our daughters are to stand against the cultural tide, we must make ‘the talk’ an ongoing conversation that begins when they are young and continues until they leave the nest.”

“We need to teach our girls that God’s Word always trumps popular opinion.”

“If we want to counter culture’s lies about sex, we must teach our children to be imitators of God rather than followers of the world.”

“Before your daughter enters high school, she needs not only a head knowledge of the verses of Scripture that clearly state that sex is for marriage but also to be well-versed on the dangers of ignoring them.”

Prayer Requests

Father God, we bow down to you in humility as we face a culture that glorifies sex before marriage. Reshape our conversations and keep our focus centered on the spiritual health of our daughters, as we openly discuss your design for sex and your consequences for disobedience. Give us the wisdom and the patience to persist in these conversations with our daughters. Place us in settings and situations that inspire these conversations, and guide our words as we teach our daughters in faith. We pray our daughters will be the 1 out of 3 who save her body for her husband, and do not give it away in sin. Amen.

Scripture Verses for Revising the Talk (NIV)

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? Matt 19:4-5

For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:16

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. Psalm 119:9

A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps. Proverbs 14:15

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Cor 10:13

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

Group Discussion for the 5 Conversations Bible Study

Did you create a 5-step action plan for helping your daughter align her attitude toward sex with God’s plan for her? If so, please share your action plan from page 85 of the workbook.

Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Stephanie says:

    This is harder than I thought it would be. Not only have I learned for myself but also for my girls. 1,dont do it because someone else is doing it, 2,you can be what they are in 5min but they cant be what you are(speaking of loosing the virginity) 3, boys will tell you what you want to hear, to get what they want. Dont be Decieved. 4,Do you really want to be around someone who is trying to make you lose your testimony? 5,Seek the Lord and the the ways of this world.

  • Christine Smith says:

    I’ve started having these conversations with my daughter and I’m noticing slight changes in her appearance. Her clothing is more modest and she’s paying more attention to how she dresses. I realize that one conversation is not enough, these are ONGOING conversations to have with our daughters.

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